Sports stock exchange

By: Killian C

Sports Stock Exchange 4/20 

Might become a series might not, we will see how it goes. I was watching game 2 of the New Orleans Pelicans versus the Phoenix Suns series and I was inspired to write this. I always think, “what if we were able to buy stock in sports stuff.” If it were plausible, I would be the best stock broker alive. Today, I will tell you which teams to hop on and which teams to hop off the wagon for.


New Orleans Pelicans

The sole reason for me writing this article. In game 2 and throughout the entire season the Pels have been getting incredible efficiency from their rookies. I know what you are thinking, “If they don’t have Zion then how can they be good?” And to that I say, “You trade him.” Imagine the haul they would get for him too. Zion is a perennial 25,10,5 guy potentially. Pairing up the potential picks they get from trading him with their already solidified stars, and the budding talent that they have throughout their roster, and you have a Championship contender. Now all they need is a name change.

Los Angeles Chargers

I am going to list a bunch of players on that team and you are going to sit there in pure shock and wonder how this team is so stacked. Justin Herbert, Austin Ekeler, Keenan Allen, Mike Williams, Corey Linsley, Rashawn Slater, Khalil Mack, Derwin James, Joey Bosa, and I think either Jameson Williams or Jordan Davis is who they will add in the draft. With this insane improvement, paired with the loss of Tyreek and Tyrann for the Chiefs, the Chargers are primed to win the division, and compete for a ring for years to come.

New York Giants

It looks bleak right now, but trust me, Joe Schoen masterclass. He is already making moves that better set up the team 5-10 years down the road and he has been on the staff for about 6 months. Picks 5 and 7 in this upcoming draft only help his case. Also, Daniel Jones 25+ Touchdown season incoming, pretty pathetic that I have to resort to this.

Vladimir Guerrero Jr.

23. He is 23. He by far has the most power in the game, followed by Pete Alonso. But his plate discipline is what sets him apart. For my money, he should have won the MVP over Ohtani last year. I think having a Hall of Fame worthy season at the plate is better than having an average pitching year and an above average hitting year. But enough of Ohtani, Vladdy’s defense has also improved greatly. The Blue Jays are a very good team, and for my money the AL favorites. Hopefully Vlad can win the MVP and a World Series this year (But not against the Mets)

Jordan Poole

When Jordan Poole came out he looked horrible, he was so inefficient and his shot making was nowhere near as good as it is now. I have friends who are Warriors fans and I won’t ever say to them that Jordan Poole deserves MIP, because they have had enough success recently. They don’t need this too. But in all honesty, Jordan Poole personifies the award. Just 2 years ago this man was playing in the G-League, now he is dominating in the playoffs against the soon-to-be MVP.


Mac Jones

Michael McCorckle Jones is an interesting character. I think most people like him because he is being coached by Bill Belichick rather than the fact of liking his actual talent. When I watch Mac, nothing pops out, he’s pretty cautious with the ball, so that’s both good and bad, I lean more bad. I think Bill Belichick is the greatest football coach of all time, but I don’t think he will be able to coach up Mac Jones to this insane top 8 level Quarterback. Especially in the AFC, if you don’t have an elite quarterback you are already behind.

Texas Rangers

After an exciting offseason of signing Corey Seager and Marcus Semien to earth-shattering deals, all this club has done is disappoint. Corey has done pretty alright, hitting .289/.341/.395 , but where the disappointment comes in is with Marcus. Saying he struggled so far is an understatement, he has hit .143/.196/.214. After giving him 175$ Million for 7 years, this is unacceptable. Now I know that we are still in April, but for a player to be hitting .143 and also taking in 25$ mil annually is a crime. The Rangers need to figure something out. Also their pitching sucks.

Cincinnati Bengals

Joe Burrow is awesome, and this isn’t so much about him as it is the rest of the team. I think the Bengals should have their 2022 playoff run forever remembered as one of the best in sports history, but in reality, I do not think this team is all that. Their offensive line drastically improved and their wide receiver room will continue to develop due to their relatively young ages, but I think the hole with this team is on their defense. Do you really think a defense led by Trey Hendrickson and Jessie Bates will be able to withstand the pressure put on by various AFC contenders. I think that the Browns, Chargers, Chiefs, and Broncos will stop them if it comes down to it. Honestly, I would be surprised if they make the playoffs, and that is not an indictment on the Bengals, but rather a compliment to how the AFC progressed this offseason.

Utah Jazz

This one is pretty obvious. If you follow basketball at all, then you have most likely heard of the hostility within the Jazz organization. It is reported that their two best players Rudy Gobert and Donovan Mitchell, are not even on speaking terms. This has caused the media to spark up trade rumors surrounding each of them. I would be pleasantly surprised if Utah was able to keep one of these guys. Both of them are relatively highly regarded players within the landscape of the NBA, so the return that they should get should be alot. 

Trae Young

Fuck Trae Young.

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