By: Gus D

The Mets and Blue Jays’ front offices decided that it’s time for their teams to come out from behind the veil of mediocrity and into the light of the World Series conversation. New York’s starting rotation is now scarier than its owner’s Twitter account and the Jays have brought more talent to Toronto than Degrassi did in 2001. The Yankees made a couple underwhelming trades, the Red Sox signed Trevor Story, and the Phillies, like our former President Trump, hate defense and “just want to see them hit the long ball.” The Braves are looking like the way-too-early NL East favorite because, well, Matt Olson might actually be a better fit for Atlanta than Freddie Freeman (do not @ me.)

Freeman is returning home to sunny SoCal to play for the Dodgers who, according to their manager and amateur tarot card reader, Dave Roberts, WILL be winning the 2022 World Series. This writer cannot confidently say that Roberts is incorrect, though I can confidently say that the NL West showdown will probably come down to the Giants, who’ve made some intriguing moves this offseason, and the Dodgers once again this year. The Padres are going to be missing Fernando Tatis for the first several games of the season due to a wrist injury–they did pick up Luke Voit as a nice 1B/DH option, nevertheless, things look rather bleak in San Diego right now. The Rockies, who were not clear on the fact that they are supposed to be rebuilding, signed Kris Bryant and sent Raimel Tapia to Toronto.

The Mariners made a couple intelligent moves, one of which was fleecing the Reds for Jesse Winker and Eugenio Suarez. In doing so, they and the Texas Rangers separated themselves as the only two teams in the AL West that want to challenge the Astros. The Athletics, who were actually a pretty good team in 2021, have, in true Oakland A’s fashion, gone full Moneyball mode, though I’m sure their success this upcoming season will NOT resemble that of the 2002 campaign.

The ‘Stros did not offer Carlos Correa, who ended up signing a 3-year deal with the Twins, a contract once the lockout ended. Their number one prospect, Jeremy Peña, will be called up to the majors to take over at shortstop this year. This could prove to be an intelligent, budget-friendly decision on the part of the Astros’ front office, because, long-story-short, Peña is damn good. The Angels, who still need several pieces to be serious contenders, did not do anything except lobby for a rule that would allow Shohei Ohtani to pitch, come out of the game, and then hit in the DH spot.

The Cubs signed a different Japanese player that hits nukes.


METS: Extended SS Francisco Lindor, acquired SP Max Scherzer & SP Chris Bassitt

BLUE JAYS: Extended SP Jose Berrios, Acquired 3B Matt Chapman, LF Raimel Tapia, SP Kevin Gausman

TWINS: Acquired 3B Gio Urshela, C Gary Sanchez, SS Carlos Correa, SP Sonny Gray

YANKEES: Extended 1B Anthony Rizzo, Acquired SS Isiah Kiner-Falefa, 3B Josh Donaldson

RED SOX: Acquired SS Trevor Story

PHILLIES: Acquired RF Nicholas Castellanos

BRAVES: Acquired 1B Matt Olson, RP Kenley Jansen

ROCKIES: Acquired 3B Kris Bryant, RF Randal Grichuk

GIANTS: Acquired SP Carlos Rodon, OF Joc Pederson

MARINERS: Acquired SP Robbie Ray, OF Jesse Winker, 3B Eugenio Suarez

RANGERS: Acquired SS Corey Seager, 2B Marcus Semien, C Mitch Garver

CUBS: Acquired OF Seiya Suzuki, OF Clint Frazier

ATHLETICS: &$@)@#*#$(!&)@#

MARLINS: Acquired OF Jorge Soler

PADRES: Acquired 1B Luke Voit

ANGELS: Want you to know that Shohei Ohtani plays for them

mlb free agency (1)

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